What had I done to excite this ungovernable fury? We had often before had such small differences, and she had contented herself with being sarcastic, teasing, and impertinent.
‘So, for future you are gouvernante and I the cheaile for you to command—is not so?—and you must direct where we shall walk. Très bien! we shall see; Monsieur Ruthyn he shall know everything. For me I do not care—not at all—I shall be rather pleased, on the contrary. Let him decide. If I shall be responsible for the conduct and the health of Mademoiselle his daughter, it must be
I was frightened, but resolute—I dare say I looked sullen and uncomfortable. At all events, she seemed to think she might possibly succeed by wheedling; so she tried coaxing and cajoling, and patted my cheek, and predicted that I would be ‘a good cheaile,’ and not ‘vex poor Madame,’ but do for the future ‘wat she tell a me.’
She smiled her wide wet grin, smoothed my hand, and patted my cheek, and would in the excess of her conciliatory paroxysm have kissed me; but I withdrew, and she commented only with a little laugh, and a ‘Foolish little thing! but you will be quite amiable just now.’
‘Why, Madame,’ I asked, suddenly raising my head and looking her straight in the face, ‘do you wish me to walk to Church Scarsdale so particularly to-day?’
She answered my steady look with a contracted gaze and an unpleasant frown.
‘Wy do I?—I do not understand a you; there is no particular day—wat folly! Wy I like Church Scarsdale? Well, it is such pretty place. There is all! Wat leetle fool! I suppose you think I want to keel a you and bury you in the churchyard?’
And she laughed, and it would not have been a bad laugh for a ghoul.
‘Come, my dearest Maud, you are not such fool to say, if you tell me go thees a way, I weel go that; and if you say, go that a way, I weel go thees—you are reasonable leetle girl—come along—allons donc—we shall av soche agreeable walk— weel a you?’
But I was immovable. It was neither obstinacy nor caprice, but a profound fear that governed me. I was then afraid—yes, afraid. Afraid of what? Well, of going with Madame de la Rougierre to Church Scarsdale that day. That was all. And I believe that instinct was true.
She turned a bitter glance toward Church Scarsdale, and bit her lip. She saw that she must give it up. A shadow hung upon her drab features. A little scowl—a little sneer—wide lips compressed
There was no mistaking the malignant disappointment that hooked and warped her features—my heart sank—a tremendous fear overpowered me. Had she intended poisoning me? What was in that basket? I looked in her dreadful face. I felt for a minute quite frantic. A feeling of rage with my father, with my Cousin Monica, for abandoning me to this dreadful rogue, took possession of me, and I cried, helplessly wringing my hands:
‘Oh! it is a shame—it is a shame—it is a shame!’
The countenance of the gouvernante relaxed. I think she in turn was frightened at my extreme agitation. It might have worked unfavourably with my father.
‘Come, Maud, it is time you should try to control your temper. You shall not walk to Church Scarsdale if you do not like—I only invite. There! It is quite as you please, where we shall walk then? Here to the peegeon-house? I think you say. Tout bien! Remember I concede you everything. Let us go.’
We went, therefore, towards the pigeon-house, through the forest trees; I not speaking as the children in the wood did with their sinister conductor, but utterly silent and scared; she silent also, meditating, and sometimes with a sharp side-glance gauging my progress towards equanimity. Her own was rapid; for Madame was a philosopher, and speedily accommodated herself to circumstances. We had not walked a quarter of an hour when every trace of gloom had left her face, which had assumed its customary brightness, and she began to sing with a spiteful hilarity as we walked forward, and indeed seemed to be approaching one of the waggish, frolicsome moods. But her fun in these moods was solitary. The joke, whatever it was, remained in her own keeping. When we approached the ruined brick tower—in old times a pigeon-house—she grew quite frisky, and twirled her basket in the air, and capered to her own singing.
Under the shadow of the broken wall, and its ivy, she sat down with a frolicsome plump, and opened her basket, inviting me to
The reader is not to suppose that Madame's cheerful demeanour indicated that I was forgiven. Nothing of the kind. One syllable more, on our walk home, she addressed not to me. And when we reached the terrace, she said:
‘You will please, Maud, remain for two—three minutes in the Dutch garden, while I speak with Mr. Ruthyn in the study.’
This was spoken with a high head and an insufferable smile; and I more haughtily, but quite gravely, turned without disputing, and descended the steps to the quaint little garden she had indicated.
I was surprised and very glad to see my father there. I ran to him, and began, ‘Oh! papa!’ and then stopped short, adding only, ‘may I speak to you now?’
He smiled kindly and gravely on me.
‘Well, Maud, say your say.’
‘Oh, sir, it is only this: I entreat that our walks, mine and Madame's may be confined to the grounds.’
‘And why?’
‘I—I'm afraid to go with her.’
‘Afraid!’ he repeated, looking hard at me. ‘Have you lately had a letter from Lady Knollys?’
‘No, papa, not for two months or more.’
There was a pause.
‘And why afraid, Maud?’
‘She brought me one day to Church Scarsdale; you know what a solitary place it is, sir; and she frightened me so that I was afraid to go with her into the churchyard. But she went and left me alone on the other side of the stream, and an impudent man passing by stopped and spoke to me, and seemed inclined to laugh at me, and altogether frightened me very much, and he did not go till Madame happened to return.’
‘What kind of man—young or old?’
‘A young man; he looked like a farmer's son, but very impudent, and stood there talking to me whether I would or not; and
He gave me another shrewd look, and then looked down cloudily and thought.
‘You say you are uncomfortable and frightened. How is this—what causes these feelings?’
‘I don't know, sir; she likes frightening me; I am so afraid of her—we are all afraid of her, I think. The servants, I mean, as well as I.’
My father nodded his head contemptuous, twice or thrice, and muttered, ‘A pack of fools!’
‘And she was so very angry to-day with me, because I would not walk again with her to Church Scarsdale. I am very much afraid of her. I—’ and quite unpremeditatedly I burst into tears.
‘There, there, little Maud, you must not cry. She is here only for your good. If you are afraid—even foolishly afraid—it is enough. Be it as you say; your walks are henceforward confined to the grounds; I'll tell her so.’
I thanked him through my tears very earnestly.
‘But, Maud, beware of prejudice; women are unjust and violent in their judgments. Your family has suffered in some of its members by such injustice. It behoves us to be careful not to practise it.’
That evening in the drawing-room my father said, in his usual abrupt way:
‘About my departure, Maud: I've had a letter from London this morning, and I think I shall be called away sooner than I at first supposed, and for a little time we must manage apart from one another. Do not be alarmed. You shall not be in Madame de la Rougierre's charge, but under the care of a relation; but even so, little Maud will miss her old father, I think.’
His tone was very tender, so were his looks; he was looking down on me with a smile, and tears were in his eyes. This softening was new to me. I felt a strange thrill of surprise, delight, and love, and springing up, I threw my arms about his neck and wept in silence. He, I think, shed tears also.
‘You said a visitor was coming; someone, you mean, to go away with. Ah, yes, you love him better than me.’
‘No, dear, no; but I fear him; and I am sorry to leave you, little Maud.’
‘It won't be very long,’ I pleaded.
‘No, dear,’ he answered with a sigh.
I was tempted almost to question him more closely on the subject, but he seemed to divine what was in my mind, for he said:
‘Let us speak no more of it, but only bear in mind, Maud, what I told you about the oak cabinet, the key of which is here,’ and he held it up as formerly; ‘you remember what you are to do in case Doctor Bryerly should come while I am away?’
‘Yes, sir.’
His manner had changed, and I had returned to my accustomed formalities.
It was only a few days later that Dr. Bryerly actually did arrive at Knowl, quite unexpectedly, except, I suppose, by my father. He was to stay only one night.
He was twice closeted in the little study upstairs with my father, who seemed to me, even for him, unusually dejected, and Mrs. Rusk inveighing against ‘them rubbitch,’ as she always termed the Swedenborgians, told me ‘they were making him quite shaky-like, and he would not last no time, if that lanky, lean ghost of a fellow in black was to keep prowling in and out of his room like a tame cat.’
I lay awake that night, wondering what the mystery might be that connected my father and Dr. Bryerly. There was something more than the convictions of their strange religion could account for. There was something that profoundly agitated my father. It may not be reasonable, but so it is. The person whose presence, though we know nothing of the cause of that effect, is palpably attended with pain to anyone who is dear to us, grown odious, and I began to detest Dr. Bryerly.
It was a grey, dark morning, and in a dark pass in the gallery, near the staircase, I came full upon the ungainly Doctor, in his glossy black suit.
I think, if my mind had been less anxiously excited on the subject
‘Certainly.’
‘Are you the friend whom my father expects?’
‘I don't quite see.’
‘The friend, I mean, with whom he is to make an expedition to some distance, I think, and for some little time?’
‘No,’ said the Doctor, with a shake of his head.
‘And who is he?’
‘I really have not a notion, Miss.’
‘Why, he said that you knew,’ I replied.
The Doctor looked honestly puzzled.
‘Will he stay long away? pray tell me.’
The Doctor looked into my troubled face with inquiring and darkened eyes, like one who half reads another's meaning; and then he said a little briskly, but not sharply:
‘Well, I don't know, I'm sure, Miss; no, indeed, you must have mistaken; there's nothing that I know.’
There was a little pause, and he added:
‘No. He never mentioned any friend to me.’ I fancied that he was made uncomfortable by my question, and wanted to hide the truth. Perhaps I was partly right.
‘Oh! Doctor Bryerly, pray, pray, who is the friend, and where is he going?’
‘I do assure you,’ he said, with a strange sort of impatience, ‘I don't know; it is all nonsense.’
And he turned to go, looking, I think, annoyed and disconcerted.
A terrific suspicion crossed my brain like lightning.
‘Doctor, one word,’ I said, I believe, quite wildly. ‘Do you—do you think his mind is at all affected?’
‘Insane?’ he said, looking at me with a sudden, sharp inquisitiveness, that brightened into a smile. ‘Pooh, pooh! Heaven forbid! not a saner man in England.’
Then with a little nod he walked on, carrying, as I believed, notwithstanding his disclaimer, the secret with him. In the afternoon Doctor Bryerly went away.